Saturday, May 21, 2005
The Laws of Bugodynamics
There are a set of rules that students in science and engineering learn called The "Laws of Thermodynamics." Here are the laws in laymens terms:
1) There is no such thing as a perpetual motion device, energy is conserved
2) Entropy always increases
Then they added a 0th law:
0) Heat always flows from a hot area to a cold area
I think the author Heinlein summed up the Laws of Thermodynamics this way:
1) You can't win
2) You can't even break even
There are quite a few people who tell me about inventions which break these laws. A bunch of people at a backyard party in Tucson tried to tell me Pizza Hut is using a new oven that keeps pizza hot by using it's own heat, you would heat it up and it would stay hot with no power! Then I told them that breaks the laws of thermodynamics, and was told I have been brainwashed by books and should open my mind. That was about 6 years ago, where is all the literature about this oven which keeps itself hot without using any power? Another pretty bright friend of mine from Tucson tried to tell me you could put piezofilm on the surface of tires and when the weight of the car pushed down on it, you'd bend the film and generate electricity and that electricity would power the car. So the spinning of the wheels would be the power! I am not saying the Laws of Thermodynamics can't be broken, I am saying if you are going to break them, you'd better be a badass. Like Newton or Einstein. Like a top 10 all time mental badass.
So the other day we were talking about software bugs. We joked that when the new version of software comes out it will have more bugs than the previous version. Then we came up with the Laws of Bugodynamics:
0) Bugs always flow from an area of high concentration to low concentration
1) Bugs are conserved
2) Bugs always increase
Then I came up with the Laws of Bogosity:
0) Bogosity always flows from an area of high concentration to low concentration
1) Bogosity is conserved
2) Bugosity always increases
Still we must fight bogosity at all costs. If you hear someone say 2+2=5 tell them they are wrong. Tell a stranger on the train that they are wrong about what the next stop is, tell someone at a party that ovens dont stay hot by themselves and cars never run without fuel. Be a warrior against Bogosity.
1) There is no such thing as a perpetual motion device, energy is conserved
2) Entropy always increases
Then they added a 0th law:
0) Heat always flows from a hot area to a cold area
I think the author Heinlein summed up the Laws of Thermodynamics this way:
1) You can't win
2) You can't even break even
There are quite a few people who tell me about inventions which break these laws. A bunch of people at a backyard party in Tucson tried to tell me Pizza Hut is using a new oven that keeps pizza hot by using it's own heat, you would heat it up and it would stay hot with no power! Then I told them that breaks the laws of thermodynamics, and was told I have been brainwashed by books and should open my mind. That was about 6 years ago, where is all the literature about this oven which keeps itself hot without using any power? Another pretty bright friend of mine from Tucson tried to tell me you could put piezofilm on the surface of tires and when the weight of the car pushed down on it, you'd bend the film and generate electricity and that electricity would power the car. So the spinning of the wheels would be the power! I am not saying the Laws of Thermodynamics can't be broken, I am saying if you are going to break them, you'd better be a badass. Like Newton or Einstein. Like a top 10 all time mental badass.
So the other day we were talking about software bugs. We joked that when the new version of software comes out it will have more bugs than the previous version. Then we came up with the Laws of Bugodynamics:
0) Bugs always flow from an area of high concentration to low concentration
1) Bugs are conserved
2) Bugs always increase
Then I came up with the Laws of Bogosity:
0) Bogosity always flows from an area of high concentration to low concentration
1) Bogosity is conserved
2) Bugosity always increases
Still we must fight bogosity at all costs. If you hear someone say 2+2=5 tell them they are wrong. Tell a stranger on the train that they are wrong about what the next stop is, tell someone at a party that ovens dont stay hot by themselves and cars never run without fuel. Be a warrior against Bogosity.
# posted by Mike @ 11:23 AM 
