Three Run Jimmy Jack

Once when I was a kid either at the Anoka County Fair or the Minnesota State Fair, my brother and I paid to see a midget. It was a trailer and I think the sign on the trailer said "World's Smallest Man". It could have said, "World's Smallest Woman." I can't remember which. I don't know what I expected but we paid our money and we got to go in. What we saw inside was a very small person, although I doubt they were the world's smallest anything. This person, whose sex I can't remember, was black and basically had an apartment behind plexiglass. This small person was sitting on a couch watching TV. He or she looked up at us, then back to the TV. I smiled and waved, and got no response. It still haunts me to this day, and I think I am scared that I am the freak in this story. I never went in for something like that again. Somehow it isn't right. Although who is being exploited? Me or the person on the couch watching TV?

There is a great movie called, "How's Your News" where people with disabilities get a microphone and a cameraman and go on the road interviewing people. Their candidness causes quite a few very honest unexpected responses. I love those guys. I somehow feel akin to people with disabilities. I feel like I know them or can understand how they feel. I was on crutches for about 4 months, so I feel a little like I can relate to physical disabilities. I can't really relate to retardedness, but for some reason I feel close to people with mental disabilities too. There seems to be so much bogosity in the world, but the people with bigger problems seem to be just trying to get through the day do what they are supposed to and not screw up. I feel like that all the time.

A friend asked me if I would like to go to all the parks in baseball over the next 5 years.
Some thoughts on it:

1) The idea is crazy.

2) I love that idea.

3) I would love to write about seeing all the parks.

4) I am not saying we would or wouldn't try to put a story about going to all the parks in Chinmusic Magazine but I think the editor would probably respond very favorably to such a project. Writing about it here would be easy. Then we need funding and press pases and an expense account. And we should be able to meet the players and visit the dugouts and clubhouses, at least we could ask. Maybe it would turn out like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

Where I have been:

1) Pac Bell (PLAYED there, managed in that dugout) #1 new park.
2) Oakland Coliseum. May not be the A's home much longer, but it has its charms.
3) Dodger stadium. I love dodger stadium. I love the chavez ravine location, I love the dodger dogs. I just cant tell anyone from the bay area.
4) Bank One Ballpark. Cool "heavenly" music when the top opens.
5) Safeco Field in Seattle. no cool music when the top opens, but they have Ichiro there and ichiroll sushi.
6) Metrodome. See A's ballpark.
7) Fenway. You probably know everything I know about fenway, I'd love to get seats on the monster. Those buns that look like a piece of bread for the hotdogs are funny.
8) Shea. Not that great. Nice overhang we were under so we didn't get wet when it was raining. There was a loud jewish family that couldn't sit still in front of us, I think they were jewish, the boys had yamikas on.
9) Wrigley. Not as great as Fenway, but not bad. I hope the stuff quits falling from the ceilings.
10) Turner Field. Some guy GAVE us two great seats for a game. Maddox lost 2-1, Urbina was blowing guys away in the 9th for the Expos. Nice new field, feels smaller than the other new fields.
11) New Comiskey. Fog. That's all I remember.
12) Miller park. Top opens like a clam shell sideways. I was there but not during a game, it was like in December but you could walk around and the merch store was open.

Stadiums I have been to that are now done hosting mlb games:
Old Comiskey
Met Stadium
Astodome
Jack Murphy Stadium
Kingdome
Candlestick Park

As a guy who claims to be extremely interested in baseball I find my number of stadiums been to to be embarassingly small. Only 12 current parks? I am a disgrace.

So I would say to hit the "low hanging fruit" I need to go to where Anaheim plays and Petco. Denver seems relatively easy to hit too. I'd like to go anywhere if my schedule and money permit. It seems like I need to hit Texas and Houston, and I hear Baltimore is nice. Pittsburgh looks cool on TV. Poeple say KC is nice.

I stand for individuality and freedom. I stand for quality and consider myself a warrior against bogosity. Not to say I never say anything bogus or to say I never act unoriginal, but I'm talking about what I strive to be.

First of all, I believe living in the Bay Area has changed me. The liberal attitude I had has been nutured and there is no one I know here who has the slightest belief that George Bush is the right guy to be running the country. I couldn't agree more. How did I go from rooting for Ragan in 1984 to where I am now? Some of it is being in CA, but a lot of it is that I feel I have been left behind by the powers that be. I am not important to them. Here is an example:

Last spring during a baseball practice in San Francisco my car was either broken into or just gotten into, on a sunday morning. My cell phone was stolen. When I got my bill a few days later I found that the person who stole my phone made 10 calls with it. I called the SFPD. I said, "Look at these great clues, let's fight crime together!" Guess what, they said, "we don't do that." They literally said that. I said, "You don't fight crime?" The lady said, "We don't use cell phone records to find stolen cell phones, you can file a report, I'll send you a form." The MAN is happy to give me parking tickets and give me a ticket for no front license plate at that exact location, which is which is within site of a police station. No one over there gave a crap that some crime had been committed within site of a police station. Maybe they thought this cell phone theft was too insignificant to investigate. What it cost me was like $75 and a renewed 12 month plan with my sucky cingular service. My point is, if this stupid criminal stole my cell phone and that is the ONLY crime he ever committed, sure let him go, but I bet he (or she) steals stuff all the time. We need to stop this stupid criminal if only to bring the mean intelligence of our criminals up.

So last night someone from the police calls while I am eating and wants me to donate something to some police cause. So I tell her my cellphone story. My wife says, "Why do you have to be such an asshole?" First of all, I don't like telemarketing and I want all the people who call me to be encouraged to get other jobs, and secondly I want her to know that I don't think the police have ever solved a crime against me and have only punished me for minor traffic infractions. The Man doesn't care about me.

This week I have come to the conclusion that mainstream media is also the Man. I don't know if they are corrupt or just incompetent, but I have decided that I can't trust the content I get. Does that mean I think the New York Times is the man? Not yet, I don't really read that one, I guess I should start. My point is, I don't think you can believe what you read in news stories on the net. Not when I saw the same AP story posted at 6 different sites I expected to have original content.

I'll admit that I believe that conspiracy theories and mental illness go together. I am not sure there is enough organization for the media to know how to tweak their stories to do something like support the war, or support Bush, but I am saying don't expect easy access to the truth. I expected easy access to the truth, I thought the net was a great place to get news. I am rethinking that.

So who is the Man? Certainly Bush is the Man. The cops who won't help me only fine me are the Man. ESPN's scolding of this week's individuality of Randy Moss and Randy Johnson is like the Man. Are the New York Yankees the Man? Do they use unfair regional advantages to finance their huge payroll? Yes and Yes and the Yes Network. Is Microsoft the Man? Kinda. I would say anyone with power who tries to force their doctrines on anyone else is the MAN. I am trying to rally people to pick up pens, not swords, because of course, war is the real enemy. That and bogosity. Stick it to the Man